Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize