great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
