Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook

(1-401): View more from Rhode Island

you can....by speaking....

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(205): View more from Alabama

Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.

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(631): View more from New York

You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.

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(248): View more from Michigan

They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.

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(646): View more from New York

His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.

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