the day after is always just damage control
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
