evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
is wine microwaveable?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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