I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize