i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
