I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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