Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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