Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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