Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
