Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
