I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You have to summon your inner elephant
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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