I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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