i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
