We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
