A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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