She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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