Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
