hotel room ftw
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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