can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
