Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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