whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
