"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
