No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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