Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize