my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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