so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
