I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
