i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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