he puts the penis in happiness.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
