it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
