He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
