their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
