Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Terrible idea I love it
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
