I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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