i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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