im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Randomize
