Michael Bay diarrhea
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
