and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
what is it with giant penises always finding me
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
