it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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