its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
