Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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