This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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