ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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