Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
