Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You made out with two different species that night
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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