so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
