you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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