1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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