New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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