Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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