WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
