WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
