That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
please come you make the beer taste better
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
