Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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