Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
