No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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