im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Randomize
