Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
