marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
