But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
