I wannas sexs uuuuu
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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