do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You are the jesus of drinking
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
