I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
