That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
