Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
