I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
