If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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