I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
