I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize