I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
