Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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