The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
